Travel Notes: The Fat Guy

I am sitting in the pub today and the worst thing happened. I had been looking all over Prague for this pub. I could not find it last night. I had read about it in my Lonely Planet guide. The book said it is a great pub.
After a few minutes this drunken English guy starts talking to me. He asks me if I live in Prague. If I did live there he was going to invite me to join his rugby team. We talk for a few minutes. He asks me why I am traveling alone, where are my mates?

After that he starts lecture me about my weight. He is telling me a hundred things that I already know. He tells me how I am shortening my life. He tells me that I should have my stomach clipped. He just keeps on talking to me.

I am very polite to him because I know he is right. I know that I am way too heavy. I know that I inviting bad things into my life by being this heavy. I know that it is a bad way to live.
I cannot disagree with him.

He walks away and I end up hating myself for the rest of the night. I end up sitting in this pub pissed at me for being this heavy. I am upset that it has come to this.

I had been having a great time up to this point. I just loved traveling to Prague. It has been a joy to just kick around this city. This has been as good as a vacation as I have had as an adult.

All that said, I really hated myself at that moment. I looked around the pub and everyone was talking to someone else. Everyone was much thinner then I am. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. I just could not have a good time at that moment.

I know that I need to do something about my weight. Unless you are fat, I am mean twice what you should weight; you do not know how it is. I feel like a failure for being this heavy. I feel there is something morally wrong with me.

About this time I wanted to hit the English guy in the face with my empty beer glass. I wonder if he was screwing with me or could he just say the thing that other people are too polite to say. Just thinking about this smokes me. I can feel my temperature rise as I write this.

I am just hoping this does not stay with me for the rest of my trip. I have two weeks to go. I want to be able to have a good time. We will see what I can put behind me.

The way I put this behind me was to sit and write. I know why I write. If I did not write, I would not understand myself. I would not be able to process these things. I would not be able to deal with them. After a couple hours of writing I feel a lot better.


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