This weekend did not turn out the way I expected. I expected it to be a weekend of me sitting in my apartment working on my photo collection. I am taking photos faster then I can organize them. I need to go through and tag them all with the new iPhoto 4 keywords.

I ended up wasting Friday night and most of Saturday. I spent a lot of time Sleeping and just watching TV. I know pretty well how to waste time. Much of my life has been an exercise in how to waste most of my time. This weekend seemed to be an example of that.

I had planned to go out and shot some pictures Saturday afternoon, but I guess a low grade agoraphobia got the best of me. I did not leave my apartment on Saturday until I was on my way to a party Saturday night.

I knew almost everyone at the party. The core group are people that I get along with very well. These are people who are fun to party with. I have never had problems hanging out with them.

Saturday night I felt like I was 36 miles away from everyone. I just could not connect with anyone. Even when I was talking with people, I felt like I was far away from them. I felt like every word was just small talk. Every idea was something that people had no attachment to. They were willing to give them up freely without any fight.

I left the party feeling really bad. I was wondering what I was doing. If I could not have a good time with people I like, what was anything worth? Why was I leaving my apartment if the effort would just lead to nothing. I was very disturbed.

After Sleeping in I went out and shot some photos on Sunday. I felt good because I found some pictures I was not expecting. That is always a good feeling. You never know where you are going to find a picture worth taking. You just have to be open.

After that I went to dinner at a friend's house. He and his wife had been planning to have me over for a while. This was the first time that we finally got it together.

Dinner was great. I will never turn down a meal that someone else cooks for me, but this was just amazing. I have always seen cooking as a chore. I am always amazed at people who like to cook.

The night was just great. We had dinner, played Trivial Pursuit, and just sat around and talked. It was an amazing night. The hour just melted away. The three of us had no problem connecting. We talked about everything from travel to what you will do if your kids get tattoos. Before I knew it, that time had run out on the night. Today my friend told me he could had spent another few hours talking, but he had to be into work for an early meeting.

I had one great day this weekend and one horrible day. I am not sure what the key to having a good time over having a bad time is. I am not sure if it was the size of the gathering, being active earlier in the day, the people I was hanging out with, or just a change in my mood. There is something really here to be looked at, but there are too many variables. It is hard to find what you want in the world when this is your experience.


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